Is this weird, or is it just me?
I got an email from mother of one of Little Son's classmates, inviting him to go to see a movie with some of his friends. A couple of the mothers would be going, too, the email said, though the invitation was clearly just for Little Son, not for both of us. (I showed it to Hub later, to make sure I wasn't missing any nuances.)
Little Son went to the movie, and had a great time.
I asked him which kids went, and he told me -- and said that all their mothers went, too, and went shopping or something together while their kids were in the movie.
ALL their mothers? Not just a few, I asked?
"Yeah," he said, "I was the only kid there without a mother."
This did not seem to bother him.
And I am happy they included him, and he had a great time with his friends. That part is most important.
But I am rationalizing about why they didn't include me.
Hub said I shouldn't think too deeply about it, and he's probably right about that.
Little Son went to the movie, and had a great time.
I asked him which kids went, and he told me -- and said that all their mothers went, too, and went shopping or something together while their kids were in the movie.
ALL their mothers? Not just a few, I asked?
"Yeah," he said, "I was the only kid there without a mother."
This did not seem to bother him.
And I am happy they included him, and he had a great time with his friends. That part is most important.
But I am rationalizing about why they didn't include me.
Hub said I shouldn't think too deeply about it, and he's probably right about that.
posted by L. at 1:51 AM
6 Comments:
well. most of the moms in my kids' classes seem pretty nice, but i wouldn't miss hanging out with any of them. however, i would be really hurt if something like that happened to me. not lashing out hurt, but still. hm. maybe i'm not helpful. :( i would also worry that while he didn't seem bothered about it this time, if he thought about it when he was older and felt his mom was slighted....but then sometimes i worry about things i really shouldn't even invent in my head. and boys aren't always as observant about those things.
maybe they just thought your japanese wasn't up to 'hanging out' with the moms.
glad to hear little son enjoyed himself!!
good to hear they included little son even though they didn't want to hang out with foreign mum. I'd be completely bummed if that happened. But like you, please for said child but hurt I wasn't included - even thought truth be known I might turn down invitation - the asking is 99% of it.
I'm glad, but not surprised, that little son wasn't bothered. He seems like a really laid back kid. I would have been upset, even if they were women I wouldn't normally hang out with. This happened to me to some extent because I was the only WOH house mom (Catholic school) in my sons groups of friends. They spent a lot of time together volunteering at school and getting together with the younger siblings. I think it never crossed their minds to include me. Or so I assure myself when cataloging a list of my failures when suffering from insomnia.
Mert
Yes, it's annoying. I imagine it was more some silly Japanese fear of your possible lack-of-Japanese than anything for you personally -- or maybe stay-at-home mothers as opposed to you being a working one. But pfui
There might have been some misunderstanding, even with a Japanese native speaker reading the message. Unless it said, "Not mom, only little son!" Or maybe it was not envisioned that all the moms would go, but they just ended up going anyway (inviting themselves along, etc.)? I hate that sort of thing and would have been hurt by it. I remember one time... a boy with a Japanese mom and American dad (who was in my big son's class at intl. school) had moved away to America with his family. He and his mom came back on holiday for the summer. They called us to see if he could hang out at our place and play with my big son while his mom had a "youji". It turned out that her "youji" was to hang out with another Japanese mom from their intl. school class. The other mom was right there in the car when they dropped him off! I was pretty hurt that they would do this, and so obviously, too!!! I was just a handy babysitter, I guess.. :(
Yikes. Of course, I'm the hypersensitive sort, so I would have been hurt, too.
But tell me what's wrong w/THIS picture: group of 3 boys working on their Science Fair project... I finally took the reins to coordinate things - the other 2 moms are SAHMs, but I am the one coordinating all the after-school meetings, doing most of the driving, buying all the materials, etc etc??? I know no one takes advantage of you w/out your consent, but STILL!
& Mert, try as I might, I'm drawing at blank at "WOH" - too much insomnia for me too, brain's not working!
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