Martyr
I am dog tired, because I woke up at 3:00 am, worried about my two-block walk to the BART station in less than three hours.
I have to leave the house when it's still dark, deserted and spooky. This was a little scary before, and after the crime described below, it is A LOT scarier.
I am also still freaked out by the fact that I believe I actually uttered casual greetings to the perpetrators, and that they know where I live. So I begged Hub to walk me the two blocks to the station, and he told me I was being silly.
He's right -- I am being silly. I simply can't have sleep-deprived, unproductive days at work because I'm losing sleep over something beyond my control.
I had better force myself to get over this.
The title of this post doesn't refer to me worrying, though. It refers to something else, described herewith:
My mother-in-law called last night, and guess what?
SHE ASKED HUB TO PUT ME ON THE PHONE -- SHE WANTED TO TALK TO ME!
This is a first. And all she wanted to say was hello, and complain that she still hasn't seen Hub's younger brother's baby yet. Apparently the other daughter-in-law (the BAD one!) is still resting at her mother's house in Kyushu.
Hub's mother said, "She said she's having a harder recovery because she had a c-section, but I told her that you had THREE c-sections! And I told her that just a few days after your third one in Tokyo, even though you were in a lot of pain, you were home cooking and doing laundry and taking care of all of your kids, with no help from anyone!"
Wow -- it's funny that she understands the "no help" part, since Hub himself was home after Little Son was born and he was supposed to be helping me. (HAHAHAHAhahahahaha!)
So should I be proud that my mother-in-law used me as an example of upholding the Japanese tradition of masochistic maternal sacrifice?
If there's anything I can't stand, it's a martyr -- so, um....NO!
I have to leave the house when it's still dark, deserted and spooky. This was a little scary before, and after the crime described below, it is A LOT scarier.
I am also still freaked out by the fact that I believe I actually uttered casual greetings to the perpetrators, and that they know where I live. So I begged Hub to walk me the two blocks to the station, and he told me I was being silly.
He's right -- I am being silly. I simply can't have sleep-deprived, unproductive days at work because I'm losing sleep over something beyond my control.
I had better force myself to get over this.
The title of this post doesn't refer to me worrying, though. It refers to something else, described herewith:
My mother-in-law called last night, and guess what?
SHE ASKED HUB TO PUT ME ON THE PHONE -- SHE WANTED TO TALK TO ME!
This is a first. And all she wanted to say was hello, and complain that she still hasn't seen Hub's younger brother's baby yet. Apparently the other daughter-in-law (the BAD one!) is still resting at her mother's house in Kyushu.
Hub's mother said, "She said she's having a harder recovery because she had a c-section, but I told her that you had THREE c-sections! And I told her that just a few days after your third one in Tokyo, even though you were in a lot of pain, you were home cooking and doing laundry and taking care of all of your kids, with no help from anyone!"
Wow -- it's funny that she understands the "no help" part, since Hub himself was home after Little Son was born and he was supposed to be helping me. (HAHAHAHAhahahahaha!)
So should I be proud that my mother-in-law used me as an example of upholding the Japanese tradition of masochistic maternal sacrifice?
If there's anything I can't stand, it's a martyr -- so, um....NO!
posted by L. at 6:57 PM
6 Comments:
That was a bit of a double edged sword thrust into your hands wasn't it? We want MIL to like and admire us, but not for the things that they typically like and admire in DIL (giving until it kills you--although that would be bad. I mean who would cook and clean and look after the kids and your husband if you let yourself die? I get so tired of my yearly flu season call from MIL,"don't get sick. You can not get sick. You must stay healthy for my son and grandchildren), etc.)
I often really wonder--how would my relationship be different with my MIL if she were the same nationality as me? Are American MILs better or worse?
After living here for over a decade as a mother and wife, the din of the Japanese tradition of masochistic maternal sacrifice has me covering my ears and now,
I even look at the story of the "Giving Tree" a bit differently.
I mean, despite the tears it brings to my eyes, I don't want to end up an old stump of a gaijin wife here in the land of the Rising sun.
Laura
sorry for asking, but how old is the baby? ...and where in kyushu? maybe i could go and see the baby before your MIL. ;) j/k of course....
But, but, but you're Catholic! We Catholics have to uphold the martyr tradition--even if it also means "upholding the Japanese tradition of masochistic maternal sacrifice."
;-)
Ach, your poor SIL.
The crime in your neighborhood is so scary. I think I'd be terrified, too, even if I'd gotten plenty of sleep. (Not that I'm trying to encourage you.) Maybe if you got a can of pepper spray or something to carry, that would make you feel better?
Ahh I am sooo glad my MIL cant speak english and I cant speak Chinese. Makes life sooooo much easier.
I don't think you're silly at all.
As for the "complement", I have mixed feelings.
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