Just a normal Saturday around here....
Daughter woke up this morning moaning and groaning. "Oh... my head hurts... so much!"
Unfortunately, she has "cried wolf" so often on Saturday mornings that someday, if she is ever truly suffering, she will still be dragged off to her weekly Japanese school.
This morning was particularly ugly. She went to change, while I stayed in bed with Little Son, and sang him some songs. I did not get up to check to make sure she was getting dressed -- I`m the "bad guy" five days a week, and I consider it Hub`s job to get them off to school on Saturday, since he`s the one who thinks Japanese school is such a good idea. I do not think it`s such a good idea, but rather than present a less-than-united front to the kids, I try to stay out of everything.
I went into the kitchen to make coffee, and Hub went to check on Daughter, two minutes before they were supposed to walk out the door.... and, from what I could hear, he found her still in her pajamas.
I listened to Hub yelling, and Daughter shrieking like a wild animal. I never hear her shriek like that any other time except Saturday mornings.
Two minutes later, my shrieking Daughter was being dragged against her will to the car by Hub. She had on a tank top totally inappropiate for the cool weather, her hair was uncombed, her face was unwashed, and her cheeks were slick with tears.
She looked... feral. That`s the only way to describe it.
"Here," I said, and handed her a roll to eat in the car, and her lunch bag.
"I HATE YOU, TOO, MAMA! I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE, BUT YOUR`RE ON PAPA'S SIDE!"
I could still hear her keening cries as they drove away.
But at least I noticed she was eating her roll between shrieks. She`ll be okay, I know -- despite the morning histrionics, she always comes home in a good mood, her Japanese school over for another week.
I can guess why she`s howling --- Japanese school is NO FUN. It lasts from 8:45 to 3:25, with only a few very short breaks. Sometimes my kids don`t even have time to finish all their lunches.
There are several hundred students at their Saturday school, which uses a public middle school in the Sunset. Some of them are children of Japanese parents who settled here and want their kids to grow up fluent in their native language, and others are from families like ours who are just abroad for a few years and will move back to Japan.
The curriculum follows the Japanese Ministry of Education guidelines, which is very standardized. This means my kids are learning exactly the same concepts as their peers back in Japan, according to exactly the same timeline -- except my kids have to cram a whole week`s worth of lessons into one day.
Until recently, Hub didn`t make them do all of their Japanese homework. This was ostensibly to give them a break, since last year they were both struggling to get up to grade level in English.
But I realized it was also to give Hub a break. He didn`t really like helping them with their homework, and listening to them whine and ask him over and over why they had to go to Japanese school at all. Homework sessions would often end in tears.
Both kids, though, have developed a pretty bad work ethic since we moved here last year. Give them an inch, and they`ll slack a mile (hey, they`re MY kids, after all!). Since they weren`t doing all of their Japanese homework, and getting away with this at home, both of them now push the limits on their regular school homework, too.
One reason Big Son is failing three of his classes in his regular school is that he insists he just "didn`t know" about certain assignments, for which he received zeros. This might be true, to an extent, but I suspect he also thinks he can get away with not doing some of it.
His teacher now requires him to write down the assignments (that are clearly written on the baord everyday, for all subjects) in a special notebook, which she initials after she checks to make sure he does it. Then I can help him at home. The problem was that I couldn`t help him with assignments I didn`t know about.
Daughter`s teacher said to me this week that her homework has been "spotty" so far, too. On the days she stays after school and does it with her friends, she gets it done -- on the days I don`t let her stay, she sometimes doesn`t. She, too, insists she just "didn`t know" about certain assignments -- and she is learning that ignorance is no excuse.
So, in an effort to eliminate the double standard that was giving my kids an excuse for their poor work habits, I`ve recently expanded my "no TV or GameBoy until your homework is done" rule to include their Japanese homework, too.
This has made me the Mama Monster of the house.
I really, really wish they could just quit their fucking Japanese school. But unless I can come up with another great idea as to how to keep up their Japanese, Hub won`t even consider this.
Therefore, he gets to wrestle the feral animal into the car every Saturday morning.
Unfortunately, she has "cried wolf" so often on Saturday mornings that someday, if she is ever truly suffering, she will still be dragged off to her weekly Japanese school.
This morning was particularly ugly. She went to change, while I stayed in bed with Little Son, and sang him some songs. I did not get up to check to make sure she was getting dressed -- I`m the "bad guy" five days a week, and I consider it Hub`s job to get them off to school on Saturday, since he`s the one who thinks Japanese school is such a good idea. I do not think it`s such a good idea, but rather than present a less-than-united front to the kids, I try to stay out of everything.
I went into the kitchen to make coffee, and Hub went to check on Daughter, two minutes before they were supposed to walk out the door.... and, from what I could hear, he found her still in her pajamas.
I listened to Hub yelling, and Daughter shrieking like a wild animal. I never hear her shriek like that any other time except Saturday mornings.
Two minutes later, my shrieking Daughter was being dragged against her will to the car by Hub. She had on a tank top totally inappropiate for the cool weather, her hair was uncombed, her face was unwashed, and her cheeks were slick with tears.
She looked... feral. That`s the only way to describe it.
"Here," I said, and handed her a roll to eat in the car, and her lunch bag.
"I HATE YOU, TOO, MAMA! I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE, BUT YOUR`RE ON PAPA'S SIDE!"
I could still hear her keening cries as they drove away.
But at least I noticed she was eating her roll between shrieks. She`ll be okay, I know -- despite the morning histrionics, she always comes home in a good mood, her Japanese school over for another week.
I can guess why she`s howling --- Japanese school is NO FUN. It lasts from 8:45 to 3:25, with only a few very short breaks. Sometimes my kids don`t even have time to finish all their lunches.
There are several hundred students at their Saturday school, which uses a public middle school in the Sunset. Some of them are children of Japanese parents who settled here and want their kids to grow up fluent in their native language, and others are from families like ours who are just abroad for a few years and will move back to Japan.
The curriculum follows the Japanese Ministry of Education guidelines, which is very standardized. This means my kids are learning exactly the same concepts as their peers back in Japan, according to exactly the same timeline -- except my kids have to cram a whole week`s worth of lessons into one day.
Until recently, Hub didn`t make them do all of their Japanese homework. This was ostensibly to give them a break, since last year they were both struggling to get up to grade level in English.
But I realized it was also to give Hub a break. He didn`t really like helping them with their homework, and listening to them whine and ask him over and over why they had to go to Japanese school at all. Homework sessions would often end in tears.
Both kids, though, have developed a pretty bad work ethic since we moved here last year. Give them an inch, and they`ll slack a mile (hey, they`re MY kids, after all!). Since they weren`t doing all of their Japanese homework, and getting away with this at home, both of them now push the limits on their regular school homework, too.
One reason Big Son is failing three of his classes in his regular school is that he insists he just "didn`t know" about certain assignments, for which he received zeros. This might be true, to an extent, but I suspect he also thinks he can get away with not doing some of it.
His teacher now requires him to write down the assignments (that are clearly written on the baord everyday, for all subjects) in a special notebook, which she initials after she checks to make sure he does it. Then I can help him at home. The problem was that I couldn`t help him with assignments I didn`t know about.
Daughter`s teacher said to me this week that her homework has been "spotty" so far, too. On the days she stays after school and does it with her friends, she gets it done -- on the days I don`t let her stay, she sometimes doesn`t. She, too, insists she just "didn`t know" about certain assignments -- and she is learning that ignorance is no excuse.
So, in an effort to eliminate the double standard that was giving my kids an excuse for their poor work habits, I`ve recently expanded my "no TV or GameBoy until your homework is done" rule to include their Japanese homework, too.
This has made me the Mama Monster of the house.
I really, really wish they could just quit their fucking Japanese school. But unless I can come up with another great idea as to how to keep up their Japanese, Hub won`t even consider this.
Therefore, he gets to wrestle the feral animal into the car every Saturday morning.
posted by L. at 11:12 AM
6 Comments:
Oh, that just sucks in so many ways. Yeah, if they're learning that they can get out of homework, then they need to do all of it. :( Homework sucks. Doing a week worth of work in one day sucks, too. Feel for all of you.
Ugh. Just Ugh.
You could go with the tv thing again, in reverse?
Rebecca's having an agenda this year has made so much difference. I asked her teacher last year to do something like that but he never did.
In middle school, they all have them and I initial them every morning.
But at least I just have five days of it, not six.
This sounds EXACTLY like my Obachan's experience with Japanese language school! So, some things never change, huh?
This was all pre-WWII... my Obachan and her brothers, being Nisei, spoke Japanese at home and English everywhere else, but then had to spend every Saturday at Japanese language school and HATED it. In fact, one of her brothers often managed to get out of going, which earned him the emnity of his siblings for many years. I think my great-grandfather finally stopped making them go when they were in high school, but then the war started and that was that.
Good for you making Hub be the bad guy.
I hope things improve for the kids (and you) with school, now that you're "on" to them.
Re: the homework. Can you not tell the children - mum's in charge of English school homework, and dad's in charge of Japanese school? A clear delineation of responsibilities which would save you doing Hubs work for him, but which will not give the kids the false impression that they don't have to do regular homework.
As to the language issue: with so many people in the school, I'd bet there are others who feel the same way about it. Wouldn't it be cool to recruit some defectors and together arrange a Saturday playgroup - age-appropriate, of course - with FUN activities and outings, the only stipulation being that all conversation must be in Japanese. It would only take one other family, to start.
Problem with said brilliant idea is obvious: I'm not sure how you could find out without going - and I'm fearing that if you offered to drive the kids one or two Saturdays so you could reconnoitre and infiltrate, you'd be stuck with the driving thereafter. Bad precedent.
Advertise in the paper? Ads up at community centre? There HAS to be a way!
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