Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Why I Left One of my Former Employers

I got an email from a former co-worker in Tokyo who never comments on this blog, which I decided to share here -- anonymously, of course.
(Remember, I`m a journalist, and I would never reveal my sources, even if trapped in a confined area with wild animals emitting high-pitched glass-shattering cries, as they watch the same episodes of "That`s So Raven" over and over and over. Oh wait -- that`s my life. Nevermind -- just a little momentary confusion there.)

My friend wrote:

"Sometimes, after a shitty day, I read your blog. And it cheers me up."

But then this person added this:
"Note: Despite what the above might imply, there's actually no correlation between the quality of any given day I have and my inclination to click on your blog! So relax, OK?"

Now, as I read the first part, I indeed did think of responding with, "Oh, so you only check in and read my blog when you`re having a shitty day, huh? What makes you associate shitty days with ME?"

But as I framed that reply in my mind, I read the paranthetical note, and remembered why I stopped working in that particular office.

Because the company implanted a fucking microchip in my brain, and my co-workers could read my thoughts.

6 Comments:

Blogger Granny said...

That certainly explains a lot. Huh?

10:01 PM  
Blogger Andrea said...

hehehehehe damn good reason!!

3:49 AM  
Blogger Jenny said...

OK, I am a big ole lurker on your blog, but this totally reminds me of something that happened to me the other day so I must speak.

I was talking to my brother-in-law's sister, who just had a birthday, and I was looking at the date written in my Palm Pilot. I said "1977. You weren't born in 1977 were you?" She said "No, 1978." I said "Why do I have 1977 written down?" She said "because my brother was born in 1967 and you know I'm 10 years younger than him." And she was right, that is why I wrote it down.

Either we've known each other too long, or she also has a microchip implanted in my brain.

6:07 AM  
Blogger Dutch said...

I'm going to make things worse, and hold a boombox outside your window a la John Cusack, only I won't be playing peter gabriel. I'll be playing Raven Symone's 1995 rap album:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000008LC9/102-1530580-7976109?v=glance&n=5174

3:41 PM  
Blogger Misfit Hausfrau said...

How does Dutch even KNOW about a rap album performed by Raven Symone?!

7:30 PM  
Blogger achromic said...

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH that was evil.... if my co workers could have heard my thoughts.... I doubt that it would have been good actually no it would have been ok.... they would have known that my irritableness and stuff was because of how much I hurt not because of them and they were all fresh out of college kids so of course anything I did was SOOOO personal.

6:43 AM  

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