Alone Again
No one wanted to go to church with me today. I think solitary attendence is going to become the norm for a while.
"Why should the kids go? They`re Buddhists!" said Hub. I guess he`s already psyching himself up for our conference with the principal and Huggy Nun.
I know what Hub is thinking. I know he thinks we should have taken that house in San Mateo, in the `burbs, and sent the kids to the public school right nearby, which did have really stellar rankings. But noooooo -- I insisted on living in the city, and sending the kids to Catholic school.
For one hour this morning, I tried to empty my mind and not think about anything stressful, and concentrate on peace. It`s actually far more peaceful to go to church without the kids -- I always sit between them, to make sure they don`t make faces at each other, or fidget too much. Of course I missed having them along, but it`s a completely different experience without them.
Sometimes, if I sit absolutely still and stare straight ahead, I feel as if my grandmother is sitting right there next to me.
I realize that on some level this makes me a pagan ancestor worshipper, doesn`t it?
Maybe Hub and I are really on the same page after all. I mean, except when it comes to living in the `burbs.
Eternal salvation is one thing -- but life in the `burbs is another.
"Why should the kids go? They`re Buddhists!" said Hub. I guess he`s already psyching himself up for our conference with the principal and Huggy Nun.
I know what Hub is thinking. I know he thinks we should have taken that house in San Mateo, in the `burbs, and sent the kids to the public school right nearby, which did have really stellar rankings. But noooooo -- I insisted on living in the city, and sending the kids to Catholic school.
For one hour this morning, I tried to empty my mind and not think about anything stressful, and concentrate on peace. It`s actually far more peaceful to go to church without the kids -- I always sit between them, to make sure they don`t make faces at each other, or fidget too much. Of course I missed having them along, but it`s a completely different experience without them.
Sometimes, if I sit absolutely still and stare straight ahead, I feel as if my grandmother is sitting right there next to me.
I realize that on some level this makes me a pagan ancestor worshipper, doesn`t it?
Maybe Hub and I are really on the same page after all. I mean, except when it comes to living in the `burbs.
Eternal salvation is one thing -- but life in the `burbs is another.
posted by L. at 11:53 AM
8 Comments:
ahh this morning you have made me cry than giggle.
still in top for girl!
Yeah, I'm not a burb lover either.
Nor a catholic church afficionado, but then again sometimes my church doesn't look so good to me either.
Ah you sound very much like me, Lisa, on MY few solitary visits to Mass...
Most of my consciousness when I'm w/Zach is occupied by overseeing (I started to type "control" but I shouldn't perjure myself) his behavior, distracting him by intense whispers of "It's only 'XX' more minutes!" [so SIT STILL], interspersed w/rare moments of transcedent peace when he'll sit quietly beside me & let me put my arm around him or hold his hand...
When I am there by myself, I'll have to admit I use it more as a meditative exercise that any true spirtual pursuit -- but those occasions are good for the soul, too...
sometimes life is like that, six to one, half dozen to the other. there are always going to be choices to make, and then living with what comes.
glad you had some time alone. that is nice, the peace that comes with it.
thinking of you, and all yours...
Don't get me started on the 'burbs.
Nope.
Nope. I'm not going to talk about it.
Nope nope nope.
Sunday worship. What should that be like? Quiet, peaceful; loudly prayerful; something else. OK, a topic for my blog.
I am going back and forth with the writer of a Catholic blog on this topic. He thinks we should go back to the Latin mass.
Ha! I gotta hand it to you. I am a city girl myself. (Which is a laugh, given the size of the TOWN I live in).
I donno that I would send my kids to public schools in most districts within the bay area. However..... this is SF and the bay area and there are some FANTISTIC non religious private schools. I donno how affordable they are, or what your range is as far as that goes but many in this area offer a wide range of alturntive type teaching/learning which always sounded SOOOOOO much fun.
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